Come Out at Work: As Bereaved

When you Google “Haig Chahinian,” you easily come across a blog we created in memory of our sister, Alice, who died in a car wreck nearly five years ago. To be sure, it’s full of raw pain and anguish, not atypical after losing a loved one.

A few months ago we wrote to the alumni association of our high school alma mater and asked the newsletter editor to remove the reference to Alice’s blog. We received no answer, and thought about asking again, because we’ve felt somewhat exposed by those Google results. Ironic, right? We’ve spent years writing and publishing that chronicle on the World Wide Web, so go figure.

Well, on one hand, we’re working so diligently to be seen as an expert on the intricacies of professional development, and when we feel vulnerable, Alice’s blog seems like a liability. On the other, we know that whoever may experience a family member’s death and then read the blog will find comfort. We are proud of what we’ve written, and how we initially cut our blogging chops there.

Ultimately, we decided to stand by the Google results, and in effect we’ve come out as bereaved.

What does this mean about the work we do? Three things. 1. We’re in a helping profession, and the blog is a resource for those with a similar family event. 2. It represents an absolute truism about us, that we readily relate to pain and sadness that may be present at work.

And 3. We had a beautiful sister.

Have you come out as bereaved at work? How has this influenced your experience?

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