General Professional Development

Come Out at Work: As Bereaved

Haig Chahinian

When you Google “Haig Chahinian,” you easily come across a blog we created in memory of our sister, Alice, who died in a car wreck nearly five years ago. To be sure, it’s full of raw pain and anguish, not atypical after losing a loved one.

A few months ago we wrote to the alumni association of our high school alma mater and asked the newsletter editor to remove the reference to Alice’s blog. We received no answer, and thought about asking again, because we’ve felt somewhat exposed by those Google results. Ironic, right? We’ve spent years writing and publishing that chronicle on the World Wide Web, so go figure.

Well, on one hand, we’re working so diligently to be seen as an expert on the intricacies of professional development, and when we feel vulnerable, Alice’s blog seems like a liability. On the other, we know that whoever may experience a family member’s death and then read the blog will find comfort. We are proud of what we’ve written, and how we initially cut our blogging chops there.

Ultimately, we decided to stand by the Google results, and in effect we’ve come out as bereaved.

What does this mean about the work we do? Three things. 1. We’re in a helping profession, and the blog is a resource for those with a similar family event. 2. It represents an absolute truism about us, that we readily relate to pain and sadness that may be present at work.

And 3. We had a beautiful sister.

Have you come out as bereaved at work? How has this influenced your experience?

7D9J7227CYPP

Come Out and (Press) Play

Haig Chahinian


June is LGBT–lesbian, gay, bi and trans–Pride month, when queer folks and allies come together in the name of pride and the pursuit of equality, inside and outside of the workplace.

Coinciding with the occasion, In the Life Media has produced a series of videos called “LGBT Executives Speak Out” in which corporate and non-profit leaders reveal their advocacy work. Press the play button to view the segment above, which features Bobby Wilkinson of State Farm Insurance.

The series is an interactive supplement to “A Message of Hope” viewable in its entirety here.

How do you like the videos?

Image via

Revealing Your Whole Self During an Interview? Good Idea.

Haig Chahinian

One of our most favorite Career Talk Live episodes starred Gen, a television producer. As is typical on our talk show, we discussed the highlights and lowlights of her career trajectory.

We were startled for a moment when she recounted an interview she had in Hong Kong, where she began her career.  She was interviewing for a junior video producer position at a prominent TV studio.

“Do you like to watch television?” she was asked.

Off the cuff she answered, “no.”

And she got the job.

Turns out her interviewers didn’t like to watch television either. Although they liked to produce it, so they saw her as one of their own.

It goes to show you: divulging your true thoughts and feelings — during an interview, especially — helps your colleagues see you for who you truly are.

Which helps them relate to you, as the people they truly are. Resulting in stronger interpersonal connections, which often lead to job offers.

When have you been candid on a job interview? What happened?

Newest Crop of Champions to Come Out at Work [video]

Haig Chahinian

There’s been a rash of prominent professionals declaring their gayness recently. Remarkably, in their respective industries few have come (out) before them, probably because these fields lean toward the macho. Take a look at the rundown:

  1. Don Lemon, CNN reporter and news anchor
  2. Jared Max, ESPN New York 1050 sports radio host
  3. Georgia State Representative Rashad Taylor (D-Atlanta), and
  4. Rick Welts, president and chief executive of the Phoenix Suns — it’s a basketball team.

We’re totally touched by the sentiments these fellows expressed about the process of revealing their true selves on the job. Consider:

Don Lemon, in an interview with the Washington Blade, said “I just feel like a new person,” and

[In coming out now,] at first there was a perceived risk. That, you know, my livelihood would be taken away, that people would shun me, that people would ostracize me, that people would turn off the television and not watch me. Sometimes the fear of the unknown is worse than actually knowing, right? Now that I’ve come out, and I’m on this side, then now I’m living in that risk and that fear. Maybe there are people that won’t watch me. Meh! I’ll have to deal with it. Maybe there are people who are going to write bad, dirty things about me. Meh! I’ll have to deal with it. Before I was dealing with the possibility, which isn’t real. So now I’m living it. So now I’m walking, and taking those steps, and every single day, if it does indeed happen, then I’ll just have to deal with it. And I’ll have to discuss it. If it doesn’t happen? Then all of that fear was for naught. So the actual fear was losing my livelihood. Who knows? That could still happen. But you know what? I don’t think so. I tend to believe in the goodness of people.

Next, Jared Max put new meaning in “Maxed Out in the Morning”, his ESPN radio show, by declaring live on air “I’ve hidden behind what is a gargantuan-size secret here in the sports world. I am gay,” and then Read more →

Climate Change Will Change Your Workplace

Haig Chahinian

In the last week, heavy rain caused rivers in Vermont to flood, and three cities needed to evacuate. A strong tornado leveled large swaths of Joplin, Missouri, killing 132 people.  The Earth’s climate is changing and we’re all being impacted, including our places of work. So how do we respond?

For an answer, we look to Bangladesh, whose citizens are featured in the May 2011 issue of National Geographic as they continue to persevere in a drastically changing landscape.

Numbering 164 million, Bangladeshis inhabit a country roughly the size of Louisiana, where in the decades ahead rising sea levels are expected to displace several million coastal dwellers — just as Miami, New York and other coastal cities may experience. From the National Georgraphic piece:

The one commodity that Bangladesh has in profusion: human resilience. Before this century is over, the world, rather than pitying Bangladesh, may wind up learning from her example.

Concrete examples of Bangladeshis adapting to the shifting world include:

  • Developing more salt-resistant strains of rice, and building dikes to keep low-lying farms from being flooded with seawater
  • Building housing in sections that can be dismantled, moved and reassembled in a matter of a few hours
  • Raising shrimps in ponds and growing vegetables on the embankments around them, because rivers are saltier than before, and water from the ground is too salty to grow rice.

If everybody emulates the resourcefulness demonstrated by Bangladeshis in these circumstances, we’ll likely weather the ravages of climate change less painfully.

What does it take to be more resourceful? Read more →

How Homophobia Can Help Your Career

Haig Chahinian

Homophobia, or the irrational discrimination against lesbian, gay, bi and trans people, is a horrible and destructive force. Along with racism, sexism and other prejudices, it’s the source of so many ills in the world, and thus, the workplace.

In America, organizations exist to quell the effects of the devastating and pervasive dynamic, and many European nations–depicted in purple to the right–have laws against related hate crimes and hate speech. While it’s difficult to extinguish this ever-powerful group dynamic, that’s OK; increasing evidence is pointing to the upside of a homophobic environment.

You read that right.

Adam Kelley and Frank Golom, a teacher and organizational development consultant, respectively, have been affected by homophobia at work, ultimately for the better. They were recently profiled in TC Today, the magazine of Teachers College (TC), Columbia University.

At the Brooklyn High School for Leadership and Community Service, Adam Kelley’s teaching is informed by a previous, harrowing work experience. Writes Emily Rosenbaum:

As a Peace Corps volunteer teaching kindergartners in a village in Uganda, he was outed by a woman who was attempting to blackmail him. The punishment for male homosexuality under Ugandan tribal law is severe, and Kelley had to flee, returning to the States.

Read more →

Come Out at Work: As a Pessimist

Haig Chahinian

We’ve been called Debby Downer, Worrying Walter, and other mildly funny names because of our proclivity to look first at the dark side of things. Now there’s research to support our pessimistic ways, even in the workplace.

The article “Can Positive Thinking be Negative?” in the May/June 2011 edition of Scientific American Mind explores the benefits of pessimism in the context of professional life.

Pessimists tend to fret a great deal about upcoming stressors such as job interviews or major exams, and they overestimate their likelihood of failure. Yet this worrying works for these individuals because it allows them to be better prepared. Work by Wellesley College psychologist Julie Norem and her colleagues shows that depriving defensive pessimists of their preferred coping style–for example, by forcing them to “cheer up”–leads them to perform worse on tasks.

So if it comes naturally, go ahead and connect with the downside of your world. With all the negative headlines in the news, it’s clearly adaptive to be prepared for the worst, including at work.

As long as you continue to hope for the best.

Do you identify as a pessimist? How has this affected your work?

Cartoon via