Dr. Pauline Park has an impressive professional history. Among many accomplishments, she co-founded the New York Association for Gender Rights Advocacy (NYAGRA) and the Queens Pride House, a center for the LGBT communities of Queens. She’s a trangendered Korean adoptee, and we’d say 100% American. Dr. Park’s path illustrates the way she has integrated into her career some salient facets of her identity.
This story has legs — last week’s Village Voice featured Elizabeth Dwoskin’s cover story “Too Hot for Citibank?” about Debrahlee Lorenzana, a strikingly attractive young woman who claims to have been fired from the financial services firm for being too sexy. Since the story’s initial publication, the New York Post, Gawker and The Early Show (whose video is embedded above) have joined the discussion, and yesterday in The New York TimesMaureen Dowd weighed in on how beauty can impact individuals in society.
Within all the chatter, however, a key question has yet to be asked: how can we work with our sexuality–rather than against it–in business?
According to Lorenzana’s story, it seems her physical appeal may have helped her build business. The Voice reports that in April 2003 the Municipal Credit Union named her “sales rep of the month;” in November 2003 the Metropolitan Hospital in Queens recognized her for “providing world-class customer service;” and in August 2006 she earned a Customer Higher Standards Award at the Bank of America.
At Citibank, she “went out every day and looked for business…then clients would come into the branch asking for her.” Yet in the office, ultimately her sexual energy was killed, as she was removed from the organization along with any potential new clients.
As human beings, we hold the spectrum of humanity within ourselves, and this includes sex. As a career counselor, I’m interested in how this aspect of our selves manifests in the workplace.
The complexities of Debrahlee’s story are difficult to acknowledge, since they hit on a number of hot-button identity issues. Dwoskin writes:
Lorenzana [is] five-foot-six and 125 pounds, with soft eyes and flawless bronze skin, she is J.Lo curves meets Jessica Simpson rack… [Her] mother is Puerto Rican and father is Italian [and she] came to New York from Puerto Rico 12 years ago. She was 21 and pregnant, and had a degree as an emergency medical technician from a technical college in Manati, a small city…
While the racial or ethnic identity of her colleagues is not referenced, it seems that we’re talking about working–or in this case, avoiding working–across differences of race, ethnicity, socio-economic status and gender.
It’s imperative for us to talk about how these dimensions of our identity come into play on the job, so that we don’t act on them unwittingly, and more important, so we can leverage all parts of ourselves to help solve the increasingly complex problems we face in 2010.
Lorenzana’s story contrasts with that of Danica Patrick, although there are significant similarities, to be explored in another post. As well, the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” will influence how human sexuality impacts the world of work — also to be explored in an upcoming post.
What do you think about how we access and leverage our sexuality at work?
The first time we read the above card, we misinterpreted it and thought of being present, but checked-out at work.
What It’s Called
The term is presenteeism. It’s like absenteeism, where you’re away from the office; the significant difference however is that your body is physically present. It’s human to withdraw from time to time, so we can all relate.
A few years ago Paul Hemp wrote in the Harvard Business Review about the phenomenon, describing research on the medical issues that lead to presenteeism. For example, with limited sick leave, an employee with severe allergies may show up because his paycheck depends on it, yet he’s unable to focus on his assignments for any sustained period.
We know emotional factors can contribute to presenteeism, too. If you have a confrontation, a negative performance review, or your work is met with disapproval — to cope, you might withdraw for awhile. If you feel disenfranchised from your peers, disconnected from your task, or unsure about your role, you might manage your anxiety by disengaging.
Problem is…
Everything suffers when you withdraw from the job. You don’t feel better because you’ve avoided working towards personal resolution, and you certainly haven’t accomplished any of your formal duties.
What should you do when you fade?
First, notice when you start closing off. And then find someone you can talk to about what’s going on. They can be related to your work group, or an outsider. Being prompted to organize your thoughts around whatever you’re experiencing, and identify your feelings will bring you to the present. From there, it’s all hope — that you’ll learn about yourself, about the environment, and how to continue working through sometimes self-imposed obstacles.
Those eCards
Back to Someecards. We won’t explain the caption, because you probably got it upon first read. There’s a whole section of ecards with workplace themes, and many are funny. The acerbic humor is founded on a decidedly straight White male perspective, although you can write-in your own captions.We’re not creative enough to try, yet.
Have you experienced presenteeism at work? How did you deal with it?
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart weighed in with an amusing piece on the potential repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. At first we bristled at the lively ageist remarks starting at the 4:15 mark, and then we got the joke. It’s an astute comparison.
We’d be laughing more, were it not for the pain and sorrow this policy has caused over the last 16 years.
You live near Southern California? Then you should know that Out for Work is hosting the next LGBTQA College Student Career Conference at UCLA on April 10 & 11, 2010. The two-day agenda includes workshops on building your personal brand and one called “Manners, meals and interviews.”
College students may benefit from exploring the dimensions of being queer and looking for work post-graduation. Some parents, teachers–and yes, career counselors–talk about what it means to be “professional” at work, which can fly in the face of your desire to be out at work. If you plan to go to the conference, bring your toughest questions about what your sexual identity has to do with your career! Of course, for more insight, keep reading this blog…
Out for Work lists a national conference to be held in Washington DC in September 2010. More info
This post was originally published by me on 11/3/09 at comingout925.wordpress.com. It’s reprinted here with minor copy edits.
Our friends at Gawker can’t.stop.talking. about Anderson Cooper’s boyfriend, Benjamin Maisani. They’re flabbergasted that AC is associating with such a handsome fellow when he’s yet to make an official statement that he’s gay as Neil Patrick Harris and Wanda Sykes have.
Once upon a time, saying you were “a friend of Dorothy,” a reference to the Wizard of Oz, was code for “I’m a big homosexual.” The CNN anchor has been seen with Kathy Griffin, perhaps today’s equivalent of Dorothy. Does this mean he’s out? Not so fast.
Since this is a blog about what it means to be gay at work, let’s look at two sides of the dilemma. Staying in the closet can ensure that you keep people guessing, and thus, talking about you. That’s good PR. Coming out, however, could mean losing segments of your audience. That’s bad PR. It’s PR nonetheless, and we know the adage about there being no such thing as bad publicity.
I think mostly, it’s scary as hell to come out on the job, even when you’re not the high-profile, good-looking son of Gloria Vanderbilt. Sounds like The Coop may fear the unknown in not publicly acknowledging what his relationship with Mr. Maisani means. (Note to Anderson: Certainty is overrated.) That his show’s ratings were down earlier this year is not unrelated.
What would be the benefits of revealing to his audience his true identity? For one, a huge dollop of relief. He would spend no more energy dodging questions or playing with pronouns, and would focus solely on researching news and hosting his show. His newfound openness would influence the nature of his news reporting, and his style on-air may likely become more relaxed, and more watchable. If he made a big declaration in coming out, he’d make headline news, grab the top spots on blogs and land the covers of magazines. How would that be for generating ratings for AC 360?
In an interesting precedent, on the cover of the November 2009 edition of Details, openly gay American Idol Adam Lambert describes how women throw their panties at him during his concerts. The fantasy of bedding him lives on, even after he shared the truth about his sexuality to the world.
While the folks at Gawker behave like your colleagues who won’t shut up about your sexual orientation because you don’t say a word about it, quieting their chatter by coming out with the truth can help all of us think a little more clearly.
