professional development

Your Whole Self on LinkedIn?

Haig Chahinian

LinkedIn can seem to be a dry and sometimes less than interesting place. Why?

We understand the need for LinkedIn to pass through strict business firewalls so employees in more conservative organizations can access profiles and update their statuses during the workday. And it makes sense for there to exist a social media site specifically for professionals to connect with one another. The main problem lies in our collective definition of what “professional” means.

Just as many people can be shy about referencing the books they read, we fear that joining an extra-curricular group or posting an update with more personal feeling may demonstrate a lack of professionalism. The problem with categorizing life into “personal” and “professional” buckets is that we miss out on the beauty that emerges from integrating the two. And splitting the personal from the professional takes precious energy away from managing work tasks, and strips us of our human nature.

So go ahead: join KnitLinked, a group “for anyone who loves to knit and crochet;” attach the link to an article you read about endangered coral reef in the Gulf of Mexico; and broadcast that extra set of tickets you have to Saturday’s football game. Upon careful analysis, you’ll see there are valuable attributes these details indicate about you as a professional.

Now consider: if we collectively revealed more of ourselves via our LinkedIn profiles, the resulting network could be a much more interesting place.

Is there something you’ve considered including in your LinkedIn profile, but which you continue to hold back?

Let’s Talk about Sex(uality)

Haig Chahinian

This story has legs — last week’s Village Voice featured Elizabeth Dwoskin’s cover story “Too Hot for Citibank?” about Debrahlee Lorenzana, a strikingly attractive young woman who claims to have been fired from the financial services firm for being too sexy. Since the story’s initial publication, the New York Post, Gawker and The Early Show (whose video is embedded above) have joined the discussion, and yesterday in The New York Times Maureen Dowd weighed in on how beauty can impact individuals in society.

Within all the chatter, however, a key question has yet to be asked: how can we work with our sexuality–rather than against it–in business?

According to Lorenzana’s story, it seems her physical appeal may have helped her build business. The Voice reports that in April 2003 the Municipal Credit Union named her “sales rep of the month;” in November 2003 the Metropolitan Hospital in Queens recognized her for “providing world-class customer service;” and in August 2006 she earned a Customer Higher Standards Award at the Bank of America.

At Citibank, she “went out every day and looked for business…then clients would come into the branch asking for her.” Yet in the office, ultimately her sexual energy was killed, as she was removed from the organization along with any potential new clients.

As human beings, we hold the spectrum of humanity within ourselves, and this includes sex. As a career counselor, I’m interested in how this aspect of our selves manifests in the workplace.

The complexities of Debrahlee’s story are difficult to acknowledge, since they hit on a number of hot-button identity issues. Dwoskin writes:

Lorenzana [is] five-foot-six and 125 pounds, with soft eyes and flawless bronze skin, she is J.Lo curves meets Jessica Simpson rack… [Her] mother is Puerto Rican and father is Italian [and she] came to New York from Puerto Rico 12 years ago. She was 21 and pregnant, and had a degree as an emergency medical technician from a technical college in Manati, a small city…

While the racial or ethnic identity of her colleagues is not referenced, it seems that we’re talking about working–or in this case, avoiding working–across differences of race, ethnicity, socio-economic status and gender.

It’s imperative for us to talk about how these dimensions of our identity come into play on the job, so that we don’t act on them unwittingly, and more important, so we can leverage all parts of ourselves to help solve the increasingly complex problems we face in 2010.

Lorenzana’s story contrasts with that of Danica Patrick, although there are significant similarities, to be explored in another post. As well, the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” will influence how human sexuality impacts the world of work — also to be explored in an upcoming post.

What do you think about how we access and leverage our sexuality at work?

What a Straight Ally Looks Like

Haig Chahinian

Any excuse to talk about pop chanteuse Belinda Carlisle, whose memoir Lips Unsealed is due out in June. How do you know when someone at work is an ally, or sympathetic to you as a queer person? Hearing them support pro-gay legislation is one example, as Belinda does in the video:

Hi, I’m Belinda Carlisle, and I’m recording this message not as a musician or public figure, but as a mom. My son James is gay, and I want him and every other gay person out there to have the same opportunities and rights that I’ve had in life.
Next month the State of Maine will be voting to decide whether or not to preserve the equal marriage law signed by the governor earlier this year. After the devastating setback that was Proposition 8, it is absolutely vital that we win this battle in the “Pine Tree” State. By doing so, we will send a strong message to President Obama and our representatives in Washington that public opinion is with us, and it is time for federal action.
Please join the effort by going to protectmaineequality.org and donating now. Together let’s affirm equal rights for all Americans and give hope to young gay people, like my son, for a better future.

It’s really touching to hear the love in her voice and see her smile at the end when she says “give hope to young people, like my son…”

So let’s imagine that Ms. Carlisle is your office mate. Ha! If you overheard Belinda while walking past her workstation, you might chime in–and come out if you haven’t already–or at least remember that she’s someone who’s friendly. You take care of yourself by the comfort you feel in knowing that should you need support, she might be there.

Incidentally, after this video was produced, Maine became the 31st state to reject same-sex marriage at the ballot box. Boo! Hiss!

360-degree look at AC

Haig Chahinian

This post was originally published by me on 11/3/09 at comingout925.wordpress.com. It’s reprinted here with minor copy edits.

Our friends at Gawker can’t. stop. talking. about Anderson Cooper’s boyfriend, Benjamin Maisani. They’re flabbergasted that AC is associating with such a handsome fellow when he’s yet to make an official statement that he’s gay as Neil Patrick Harris and Wanda Sykes have.

Once upon a time, saying you were “a friend of Dorothy,” a reference to the Wizard of Oz, was code for “I’m a big homosexual.” The CNN anchor has been seen with Kathy Griffin, perhaps today’s equivalent of Dorothy. Does this mean he’s out? Not so fast.

Since this is a blog about what it means to be gay at work, let’s look at two sides of the dilemma. Staying in the closet can ensure that you keep people guessing, and thus, talking about you. That’s good PR. Coming out, however, could mean losing segments of your audience. That’s bad PR. It’s PR nonetheless, and we know the adage about there being no such thing as bad publicity.

I think mostly, it’s scary as hell to come out on the job, even when you’re not the high-profile, good-looking son of Gloria Vanderbilt. Sounds like The Coop may fear the unknown in not publicly acknowledging what his relationship with Mr. Maisani means. (Note to Anderson: Certainty is overrated.) That his show’s ratings were down earlier this year is not unrelated.

What would be the benefits of revealing to his audience his true identity? For one, a huge dollop of relief. He would spend no more energy dodging questions or playing with pronouns, and would focus solely on researching news and hosting his show. His newfound openness would influence the nature of his news reporting, and his style on-air may likely become more relaxed, and more watchable. If he made a big declaration in coming out, he’d make headline news, grab the top spots on blogs and land the covers of magazines. How would that be for generating ratings for AC 360?

In an interesting precedent, on the cover of the November 2009 edition of Details, openly gay American Idol Adam Lambert describes how women throw their panties at him during his concerts. The fantasy of bedding him lives on, even after he shared the truth about his sexuality to the world.

While the folks at Gawker behave like your colleagues who won’t shut up about your sexual orientation because you don’t say a word about it, quieting their chatter by coming out with the truth can help all of us think a little more clearly.